I was fast asleep in the hotel room Frodo and I shared in Guangzhou, when all of a sudden, I felt a heavy weight on my back (I was sleeping face down). A slight commotion followed which I was only vaguely aware of, being groggy from sleep. Las ballenas (I will not translate—this is Spanish, so figure it out), or the papaya twins, were on my bed (their combined weights must have approached a ton), the butch-ier one, Mrs. Bates, was straddling and shaking my body so I’d wake up, while at the same time, warning Aretha Franklin to keep her hands off me (it’s as if I were someone else’s property!). Apparently, Frodo let them in. Of course I heard them!
The comforter was on the floor. All I had on was my red boxer briefs! I heard another voice, but I couldn’t identify who. They were giggling. Haven’t they seen a guy’s butt before? Norman Bates’ mom didn’t let go of me, literally dragged me out of bed to some room where a party was going on. Good thing I had the sense to pick up my shorts.
I was forced to party. Mrs. Bates literally held me down, got my card key so I couldn’t escape back to my room. A slight movement from me and she was quick to pin me down. Yes, she’s that strong.
I had some beer and some vodka, which even made me drowsier. At this point, I might have lost some consciousness. I thought someone was licking my right ear (I found out later Aretha was painting my ears with black pen).
I was totally irked by this rude invasion of my privacy. “I WAS SLEEPING, YOU NITWITS!” I wanted to scream.
I excused myself, went to the bathroom, then outside towards my room. However, much like in the Hitchcock classic, Mrs Bates was after me (She had my key!). Since Frodo didn’t open the door to our room (the asshole’s sleeping!), I knocked and pressed on the next room’s doorbell. Fortunately, it was Doc’s. He opened it, I was quick enough to go inside, just out of reach of Mrs. Baites brawny hands, like a wrestler’s, trying to pull me out of the room. Yep, I didn’t sleep in my room that night.
Some think the whole episode was funny. Not a single one of those assholes even bothered to apologize to me. Frodo, who was aware earlier on that I wanted to hit the sack, said that he opened the door and let the girls in because I was a KJ (kill joy). So now it’s my fault!
Amazing.
The comforter was on the floor. All I had on was my red boxer briefs! I heard another voice, but I couldn’t identify who. They were giggling. Haven’t they seen a guy’s butt before? Norman Bates’ mom didn’t let go of me, literally dragged me out of bed to some room where a party was going on. Good thing I had the sense to pick up my shorts.
I was forced to party. Mrs. Bates literally held me down, got my card key so I couldn’t escape back to my room. A slight movement from me and she was quick to pin me down. Yes, she’s that strong.
I had some beer and some vodka, which even made me drowsier. At this point, I might have lost some consciousness. I thought someone was licking my right ear (I found out later Aretha was painting my ears with black pen).
I was totally irked by this rude invasion of my privacy. “I WAS SLEEPING, YOU NITWITS!” I wanted to scream.
I excused myself, went to the bathroom, then outside towards my room. However, much like in the Hitchcock classic, Mrs Bates was after me (She had my key!). Since Frodo didn’t open the door to our room (the asshole’s sleeping!), I knocked and pressed on the next room’s doorbell. Fortunately, it was Doc’s. He opened it, I was quick enough to go inside, just out of reach of Mrs. Baites brawny hands, like a wrestler’s, trying to pull me out of the room. Yep, I didn’t sleep in my room that night.
Some think the whole episode was funny. Not a single one of those assholes even bothered to apologize to me. Frodo, who was aware earlier on that I wanted to hit the sack, said that he opened the door and let the girls in because I was a KJ (kill joy). So now it’s my fault!
Amazing.
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