Sunday, November 19, 2006

Hairy Conversations

I had dinner with Che last week. We haven’t seen each other for quite some time and in the meantime, her belly’s gained prominence: she’s seven months into her pregnancy. (To think that I used to kid her about being a long-time member of the VSB or virgin-since-birth club).

You see, I ask her assistance for just about everything, even long after our stock market days, especially with data gathering as well as bits and pieces of economic and corporate information. I have no patience with lay-outing my reports for my clients and she does that for me as well. She’s good at techie stuff and I’m not. In exchange, I treat her out to dinner. I always suggest Burger Machine (I know, I’m a cheapskate…Oh, SNAP! I can live with it). Since we couldn’t find one in Glorietta, we always end up at Italianni’s.

Our conversation this time however, shifted away from her belly towards the status of my hair.

Pointing to my receding hairline, she said nonchalantly, “I think your hair is thinning. The scalp is showing”. Thank you for pointing that out, Miss Friendship. I know I’m losing pogi points because of it. If not for my face value, (friends, will you please stop hiding your faces under the covers!) I’ll be spending pathetic week-end nights watching the Animal Channel on cable.

“Have you tried using that shampoo for horses?” she asked me with a genuine concern most doctors reserve for hopeless cases.

“Naaah. I heard it isn’t effective,” I told her. It’s true, I have a cousin who is bald and he and his wife lamented the product’s ineffectiveness to me. How reassuring. Maybe they thought I am about to “join the club” so they felt they had to share this glorious piece of information.

She put forward an ingenious solution. “The only way for you now is to cut your hair really short, you know, almost a bald, skin-head type look”, she says, matter-of-factly.

Gee, I haven’t really tried it. I’m wary of experimenting with my hair, you see. One time, I dyed my hair jet black with henna only to get horrified at the result. Since I am a chinito, I appeared like—gasp!—a Yakuza gangster or worse, a Shaolin warrior in Once Upon a Time in China. I had to wear a baseball cap at all times because I felt uneasy from the stares of strangers you meet on the street. It was awful!

When I told her over the phone about my disastrous attempt at coloring my hair, Che sounded like her guts were about to burst open—yes, she sounded like the daughter of Satan-- it was the first time I heard laugh like a hyena.

“Oh, I use aloe vera extracts”. I explained to her, the moment she settled down from laughing hysterically. “My father used them, and his hair to this day remains thick” I continued. In fact, I have a potted aloe vera plant in my laundry area, and I apply the freshly squeezed extracts directly onto the affected areas.

Honestly, I’m not seeing any results, maybe because I always forget to apply it, but who knows. My good friend Johnny Bravo has a far worse predicament: his hair started decimating at the center, not at the forehead. I always remind him to thank God he’s a six-footer. Most people do not notice the creeping baldness because they’re too short to take a look. He’s been applying all sorts of topical solutions and tries to convince me, unsuccessfully I must say, of the effectiveness, judging from the area of the “fall-out”. Clearly, he’s still in a denial mode.

“Yeah, my hubby applies aloe vera too”, Che reassuringly says of aloe vera’s potential effectiveness.

Oh my gad, this is sooo middle-age stuff.


Anonymous said...

hahaha... can't relate to this problem... well, it's a sign of aeging... :)

i've got a product for you here in sg.. i'll send you the brochure and some say its effective.

i'm not really sure this "horse shampoo" thingy but i knew some people who used it. some said it was okay, others said it wasnt effective at all. pero, the thought of using shampoo for the horses.... doesn't sound right for me.

hayy, ganyan tlaga pag tumatanda na no....