I was never cut out to have a career in Science. I knew it immediately after a few classes in high school Biology. I had problems memorizing the bewildering classifications in the plant and animal kingdom, all I could really remember was Phylum Chordata. But I was fine with Math. I enjoyed solving algebraic and geometric problems (yup, that’s true), although I knew a few were irritated (who cares if Y is three times older than X twenty years from now?)
But my instincts were proven right the day I submitted my Science Fair project: perfume made from extracted kalachuchi oil. The scent was so faint, soaking the flower petals in water would have done a much better job.
It was horrible. You see, the basic idea was to steam the flower petals to extract the oil, which would presumably condense, precipitate and finally fall, like rain, into a container. It was a complete disaster.
I assembled the equipment using two Nido milk cans connected by a hollow aluminum rod I got from a discarded outdoor antenna. Problem was, the steam was hot, and my condenser, being made of metal, was hot as well, so no condensation took place.
I simply told myself to hype up everything during the question-and-answer portion when the judges make their rounds. The judge only smiled. He must have thought, “and he’s from the top section?”
But lo and behold, the other entries were no better and were just as pitiful. One project was clearly a third-world lens made from a pea-size hole on some metal sheet, where a drop of water over the hole supposedly magnifies objects when you peek into it.
Big deal!!
And they wrote a ten-page science report on that? And besides, I read that back in my grade school library.
Another entry was a strange object made of styrofoam, where gasoline poured on one end comes out as 'rugby' on the other. Unfortunately, this project had no originality as it had been done to death in previous Science Fairs.
And of course, who could forget the innumerable fruit preserves: jams and jellies of all kinds. Name it. Balimbing (star fruit), jackfruit, santol, kamias, whatever. I’ve always wanted to ask the proponents, “do you seriously believe people actually want to eat thaat”, which of course, would elicit responses like, “well, do you honestly think people would even bother sniffing your so-called perfume?” And so I held back my tongue.
Ambrose’s entry, however, was the most spectacular, and I would dare say, the most ambitious. Fresh from the dumpster, it was a dish antenna made from a discarded umbrella. You know he got it from a garbage dump because all you could make out was the skeletal frame and what remains of the dirty, tarpaulin material.
It was supposed to gather TV and radio signals from afar, like Australia and China. Unfortunately, there was no hard evidence to support his impressive scientific blabber (which no one understood). It was simply anecdotal, like getting strange signals on your radio and TV from unheard-of-places when the sky is clear.
Well what do you know, he’s now chasing his dreams of becoming a scientist in Germany. As for me, I got myself a degree in Economics.
But my instincts were proven right the day I submitted my Science Fair project: perfume made from extracted kalachuchi oil. The scent was so faint, soaking the flower petals in water would have done a much better job.
It was horrible. You see, the basic idea was to steam the flower petals to extract the oil, which would presumably condense, precipitate and finally fall, like rain, into a container. It was a complete disaster.
I assembled the equipment using two Nido milk cans connected by a hollow aluminum rod I got from a discarded outdoor antenna. Problem was, the steam was hot, and my condenser, being made of metal, was hot as well, so no condensation took place.
I simply told myself to hype up everything during the question-and-answer portion when the judges make their rounds. The judge only smiled. He must have thought, “and he’s from the top section?”
But lo and behold, the other entries were no better and were just as pitiful. One project was clearly a third-world lens made from a pea-size hole on some metal sheet, where a drop of water over the hole supposedly magnifies objects when you peek into it.
Big deal!!
And they wrote a ten-page science report on that? And besides, I read that back in my grade school library.
Another entry was a strange object made of styrofoam, where gasoline poured on one end comes out as 'rugby' on the other. Unfortunately, this project had no originality as it had been done to death in previous Science Fairs.
And of course, who could forget the innumerable fruit preserves: jams and jellies of all kinds. Name it. Balimbing (star fruit), jackfruit, santol, kamias, whatever. I’ve always wanted to ask the proponents, “do you seriously believe people actually want to eat thaat”, which of course, would elicit responses like, “well, do you honestly think people would even bother sniffing your so-called perfume?” And so I held back my tongue.
Ambrose’s entry, however, was the most spectacular, and I would dare say, the most ambitious. Fresh from the dumpster, it was a dish antenna made from a discarded umbrella. You know he got it from a garbage dump because all you could make out was the skeletal frame and what remains of the dirty, tarpaulin material.
It was supposed to gather TV and radio signals from afar, like Australia and China. Unfortunately, there was no hard evidence to support his impressive scientific blabber (which no one understood). It was simply anecdotal, like getting strange signals on your radio and TV from unheard-of-places when the sky is clear.
Well what do you know, he’s now chasing his dreams of becoming a scientist in Germany. As for me, I got myself a degree in Economics.
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