Hi Kuribs,
How are you? First of all, I know my place. I am just a tenant, and you happen to be my landlady's pet. Ergo, you own the place and can barge in anytime you want.
I don't even mind that you do your hygiene rituals in front of me, like licking your balls while I'm munching on Piattos. But can you please
(1)Announce by meowing loudly that you are about to rub your body against my leg? I was close to a heart attack when, trying to open my door, I felt something move against my leg while fumbling to locate my keys;
(2)Not treat my door as your scratching post? I know you need to sharpen those claws and arm yourself against feral cats intruding in your territory, but every time you scratch it, it sounds like someone's scrubbing the cement floor with coke bottle caps; I don't even mind that you've already ripped my rubber floor mat into an unrecognizable mess;
(3) Not force and squeeze yourself through my bedroom window so that you can simply satisfy your curiosity of what's inside. Are you not aware of the phrase, "Curiosity killed the cat"? Seriously dude, I don't keep kitty porn lying around the house;
(4) Can you tell that ginger cat friend of yours, to please NOT leave carcasses of dead birds on my front door? I admire his hunting skills, but how about cleaning up after?
(5) And finally, a small favor. Are you friends with that dog across the street? (Maybe not, but what the hell). Can you please tell him to NOT schedule his daily vocal exercises between midnight and 4 a.m., when people are fast asleep? I know his services will come in handy when there's a fire or a thief in the neighborhood, but how about doing it in the daytime, when there are people knocking on gates for surveys, bible studies, handicap donations and barangay solicitations;
I hope you will be considerate enough to grant my requests so that we may co-exist peacefully.
No comments:
Post a Comment